"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." What crap. Sometimes, when life gives you lemons, all you can do is make a really sour face. Or throw them at someone.
I've tried and failed. Failed so hard you can see the giant red F on my forehead. Even if there was a massive grading curve, I'd still be failing. All I wanted to do with this blog was inspire others. Give voice to a silent illness that destroys lives, and maybe shed a little light on what the struggle is like. I have no idea if I've been successful with that. What I do know is that I've failed at inspiring myself. Over the years, I've documented my ups and downs for you, and I'm glad I did. I don't regret it. But I regret who I am. I regret that as hard as I've worked to better myself, I still feel this way today. Hopeless. Because years of medication, therapy, and prayer have gotten me exactly nowhere. I'm as lost as I was twenty years ago. I'm angry. I'm sad. But more than anything, I'm empty. I don't see the point of blogging anymore, because I don't have any good news for you, and I don't have anymore advice to offer. Thank you to those who've stuck with me through the years. I love ya'll for it.
2 Comments
|
Archives
July 2019
|