I’ve only slept about 6 hours since Tuesday. I don’t know why, but I do know it’s making me horribly cranky. Everything seems more complicated when you’re tired. And I’m way past tired. But, despite feeling like one of the Walking Dead, I’ve had a super productive day. Granted, I had a pretty sizeable jump on it, but by 1:30pm I’d already made several necessary phone calls, bought L four new pairs of shoes to get her through the winter, downloaded and formatted pictures for H’s school project, returned some dress pants I no longer need, attended a 12:30 appointment, created H’s birthday party invitations, cleaned the kitchen and folded 3 basketfuls of laundry. Now, I’m about to make a pumpkin pie because, duh, it’s fall. And because pumpkin pie.
This morning, I drove H to school instead of her riding the bus, and we just had the best time. She’s turning 12, and even though she has bouts of moodiness…being a tween, basically….we have become so much closer. Our conversations are more complex, meaningful. Every day I feel blessed to be witnessing glimpses of the young lady she’s growing into. I’m so proud of her. We had a long conversation this morning about dialect and all of the different accents across the regions of the world. She’s been told by some of her friends that they can hear some British in her. Wha??? I told her I didn’t hear any British. She laughed and then snarked back about the drawl that I supposedly have. I don’t hear it. Oh! I forgot to mention that I achieved the highest victory ever this morning. I successfully helped H with some of her math homework. Math. Me. Yep, you read that right. It was the horrible, terrible, nasty combination of word problems and fractions. Two of the things I was the worst at. And, I didn’t even have to cheat to get it right! Guys, 6th grade math today is NOT the same math we learned in school. It doesn’t look the same and it’s far more convoluted than what we did. It also has its own vocabulary. Normally, when H starts speaking Common Core at me, my eyes sorta glaze over and my mind wanders. For some reason, though, this morning I was like “ALL THE MATH PROBLEMS!!” and just launched myself at it. Proof that once you choose an outcome, you can achieve it. Now, if I can just choose to understand how an Xbox or PS4 controller works…. Gah, my body feels like it’s made of lead. It’s taking all my concentration to keep from just sitting and staring out the window in a motionless stupor. Luckily, H is playing some Taylor Swift in her room, and it’s juuuuust loud enough to annoy me. Guess I’ll wander downstairs and get dinner started now. And then crashing. Definitely crashing. G’night y’all!
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Once you make the decision to change your life, there’s no point in holding back anymore. For as long as I can remember, I’ve played it safe because the fears of what might happen should I fail were too overwhelming to contemplate. But life is short, and there is no guarantee of tomorrow. When I quit my job, I was amazed at the sense of freedom that washed over me. In a few short months, I’ve said goodbye to the woman who lived her life afraid. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of failure, and most of all, afraid of judgement. The truth is, people are always going to judge you. And that’s ok. Because their judgement can’t hurt me anymore. I choose for it not to.
So, in light of my newfound love for life, I’ve chosen to fight for my dream. I’ve been hard at work, with the huge help of my hubby, to launch a new website; one that is dedicated to my writing – www.thescorpionsting.com. It’s a forum for people to get a taste of what I love doing, and for me to get my name and my passion out there. I’ve dreamt of being a writer for as long as I can remember. So, that’s what I’m doing. It feels phenomenal to be pursuing something that I enjoy – that speaks to me. I hope you will take the time to check it out and leave any feedback you may have! |
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July 2019
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